I have two closets to come out of

Now I know I can be quite shocking when I have to announce in my class that I am gay and bipolar too. Sometimes I get sympathy looks, somethings I get 'you are a freak' looks, and sometimes I get the "I have parent who is that" or whatever. You may be wondering why I even tell these people in my short 5 week classes any of this. Here why: last week was the fist week of my last class after hearing one person make jokes about bipolar disorder that was cue to step and come out of the mental illness closet or go over to him with my walker and beat some sense into him with it. I thought coming out would be better at that point. After I said I am bipolar it was so quite in the room you could hear a pin drop. My goal is to not make people feel uncomfortable but to make them realize anyone could have it and it is NOT ok to make jokes about it. You wouldn't make jokes about someone who has cancer or AIDS in public (or private really) would you? No, I didn't think so. This is me doing my part to bring awareness and reduce the stigma of mental illness. Believe me, it follows me around like a creepy little stalker that only I can see and until I start telling everyone about it and how it makes me feels and only if others start to notice him, he is never going away.

Now these people have been together as a group for awhile and I am "invading" their class. It is pretty obvious that they don't like outsiders and let's say I am not exactly shy on calling people out on their crap, so I am instantly popular. (NOT) I had not come out as gay yet, I try to break up the shock and awe for my classmates because I care. Towards the end of the night we had to get into our teams and start on our first assignment. Remember, I am like a virus infecting their group. We had to pick a community and profile it. Here was my chance to come out again. I said "Well, I am gay and know a lot about the gay community, so that might help make this assignment easier." One guy I thought could go for it, the second guy was leery. This is when shit hit the fan. The woman in my group said "Uh, yeah I don't think I want to do that because the whole gay thing has been beaten to death." Yes, that's right folks we have been beaten to death. Unfortunately for me I didn't know to say that wouldn't get me into trouble. So I said "Wow, beaten to death, I have been beaten to death." Then she tried to back track. I said "No, no you made yourself perfectly clear, we have been beaten to death." We did the Amish Community instead.

As gay people we aren't trained sometimes for others reactions or words. Her words have been haunting me all week. This class is not a healthcare class which for me is part of the problem. I have 4 weeks left and I can suck it up and hopefully by the end I can make a difference in someone and open their eyes.

Too young for this

I have heard many times this past week "You are too young for this." They are referring to my recently fractured pelvis. I will be 29 in 2 days and shouldn't really have fractured my pelvis from falling on the side walk (twice in 10 days, freak accidents, I swear). If I was 80 then maybe. If I was a professional athlete like a soccer player, then maybe. But me? No, too young.

This last week I felt like I have been doing nothing, which is a good thing for healing. The next couple months of recovery, therapy, and figuring out why this happened are going to be tough. Lucky for me I have a supportive and helpful family, a great primary doctor, and work for a great company.

Not only is this taxing on me physically but also mentally. During the day I don't have many people to talk to, when I am used to talking to people all day at work. I like being active and doing things around my house and now I can't. I have to use a walker to get around which it great in crowds because people instantly move out of the way. However, my hands are sore from the walker and I am still nervous about falling again.

I think my therapy sessions for bipolar stuff will probably be more frequent then what they were just to be on the safe side. On a very happy and exciting note I am starting my very last class and I graduate on May 4th with my bachelor's in Healthcare Admin. Woohoo! I think I will be posting more often now that I am doing nothing but healing.